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Category: emotions

“As a child, I’d hide my papers under my homework and draw when mummy wasn’t watching”
My late mother was a very strict person. She was a lecturer. She made me believe till this day that any parent who is an educator is the strictest sort of parents ever! She’d make us (me and my siblings) do our homework after lunch from 2-5pm, then let us have a break and dinner, and at night, she’d send us for tuition, if not, it’s 8-10pm at the study table to revise all our school lessons. We had fixed TV time on weekends and some weekday nights. I totally thank her for my academic success and many other disciplinary traits she drilled into us kids that made me the person I am today. 
In art, she did get me into art class during my kindergarten years. She also sent me for lots of coloring and drawing contests in town. It’s through these contests I believe, that developed most of my skills as I’d learn from better participants and try out new things for each new contest’s theme. But before all that, it really all began just from the love of filling up empty spaces: all my text books were doodled, all my papers were scribbled on, the pages I wrote in in my friends’ autograph books were the messiest with silly quotes written in all the pen colors I could find, plus random drawings that don’t go with everything else on the page (not pretty at all); and of course, the tons of practice from doodling under homework instead of concentrating on them. I have to admit, I still carry that habit till this day. Even at my work desk, I’ll be randomly inspired, and doodle all over my notebooks and rough paper on the table. heh… These habits don’t die. 
So when people ask me when did I learn to do these artsy stuff? I’d say, all my life.
“it takes strength to admit weakness”
A personal sketch done out of a burst of emotions. Admit it, it is not easy to share your weaknesses. There’s a lot to think about especially when you grow up. You are more worried about what people might think of you, especially in the professional field. You want to appear tough and strong and that there is nothing difficult enough to put you down, and yet you cry in the washroom because you had to put everything that bothered you aside. But my friends, admitting you have a weakness doesn’t mean it’ll get in the way of you achieving what you set out to do. We learn and get tougher everyday. As long as we keep fighting and trying, we’ll get to where we want to be. It’s okay to cry, we are only human.
Admit it: there is just something awesome about not working when everyone else is!
Holidays are just more fun when it is specially there for you. Or maybe it’s just because you planned that particular occasion for yourself and it’s not just there just because… 
I don’t know, but Malaysia has a ton of long weekends this year, and I still feel dead exhausted. Long weekends and Public Holidays are just more time for hustling to make a bit more dough. (In case any of you haven’t realised by now, our Ringgit is tiny and our salaries can barely afford us a house / car / stuff that grown-ups intend to own.)

Anyways, have a couple of big personal projects coming up! Pumping in what little resources I have left to make them happen! Excited! Hope this short break I’m taking next week will help rejuvenate me and keep me hyped and inspired! Stay tuned!

Picture: Sun, Sand, Sea Holiday!
Tool: Adobe Illustrator
Style: Cubism?!??


“Thanks for trying to understand”
As we’ve all heard before, men and women think and feel in rather different ways. Was feeling quite emotional and being rather difficult for the past couple of weeks, but the boyfriend was being great, by being patient and understanding.. 
Actually, I’m still not quite sure whether he tried to understand or whether he was just letting me be. But I’m actually super glad most men aren’t as sensitive as women, because, that would be when all hell really breaks loose. haha.
The piece was completed on my Samsung Note 3 with Sketchbook for Galaxy, but I refined it in Photoshop later. Inspired how I can’t think straight when I feel too much and how he can never figure it out!
I’ve never been one for words. There’s too much to express that it’ll take a very long time to say all that I am thinking and feeling. I am really bad at this.  Even typing this short introductory paragraph took up time and frustrated me. 
I really admire Lang Leav. Being able to put so much thoughts and feelings into just a few beautiful lines is really useful.  
Anyway,  in attempts to describe this picture, I shall try my best:
We’ve all been here. Re-painting our damaged hearts, trying to keep it red with hope.  Pushing day by day,  carrying on, growing stronger,  becoming numb… Whether you’re sick of waking up to your torturing 9-5 job,  or dealing with your 13th breakup, just know that you’re not alone. And that there really is no point in taking things too seriously, because no one will ever understand the complexity of another’s emotions. So, keep calm and carry on. 
(Yes,  easy to say,  hard to do,  hence the painting, but really,  it’s not that bad) 

As we get older, decisions and choices get more and more complex and tricky to make. Sometimes they are so twisted that right may seem bad while wrong might seem good, or sometimes there is no wrong or right that you just gotta pick something and live with it and prepare for the best or the worse.
The fear of making the wrong choice is what often makes me not want to make a choice at all. But choosing to not make a choice is also a choice. Why does it never stop. Life is a series of choices and it is pretty much up to us to make what we want out of it. Having to make millions of choices a day sometimes blinds us of the main reason as to why we make any choice at all. 
Damn, choices are like extremely deep Inceptions and every one of the choices are to lead to the next choice and the choice after that and it doesn’t stop until we die. Hmmm, I think I am grateful for still having choices to make now, it reminds me that I am still alive and have some amount of power over how I want to live it.
I guess that’s why I find it so depressingly difficult to make certain choices. I really love my life and take it very seriously. I get quite stressed from over thinking things. 🙁
Today my best friend shared a video with me. It is one good video, with very meaningful content. Telling you there’s more than one way to see things, which makes life a lot more pleasant. It is something like what I meant in one of my older posts: Tilt Your Head and Imagine. If you become aware that you have the power to make things around you beautiful, or to go beyond your sight, into your heart to feel compassion and sympathy for others, the world could be a much better place.
You can hear the original speech of this video, by the late David Foster Wallace here.
Hope it we can all learn to think more positively, be more happy and compassionate. 🙂

If any of you have been following me on Instagram, you’d seen I’ve doodled a few mini me(s), and they’re all gloomy. Yes, I’ve been quite moody. I’ve colored them here with Photoshop to express their moods.

It does feel good to be able to transfer my feelings into these doodles. As I concentrate while drawing them, they help me relax a little. 

Sketching me sketching sadness
Hope you all feel better than I do! 🙂